Categories
Education

Every Classroom Should Be a Safe Space

The latest news from the academic world is all about trigger warnings and safe spaces, and these discussions have at times convinced me that I chose the right time to retire. When I first read the now well-known letter from University of Chicago’s dean of students, John Ellison, to incoming students, I applauded him. Having since read some of the firestorm of rebuttal sparked by his letter, I still agree with Dr. Ellison; but I think there are bigger questions that need to be considered.

Here’s the most controversial statement from Dr. Ellison’s letter:

Our commitment to academic freedom means that we do not support so-called trigger warnings, we do not cancel invited speakers because their topics might prove controversial and we do not condone the creation of intellectual safe spaces where individuals can retreat from ideas and perspectives at odds with their own.

Having spent six decades of my life in school, as a student and an educator, I can say that the classroom was my safe space as a student, and I attempted to make my own classroom a safe space as an educator. Oh, I confess I was pretty clueless about such things in the earliest years; but as I worked with people and listened to their stories, I gained understanding and empathy for the experiences that might make them feel threatened or vulnerable.

I devoted a whole section of my opening-day lecture to making the classroom a place where everyone would be free to express their thoughts without judgment or ridicule. I warned them, and enforced the warnings during each class session, that no disparaging remarks about another student, no eye rolls, no long sighs, no laughs or even snorts or snickers would be tolerated. I encouraged disagreement and debate but taught students that the appropriate way to respond to someone with whom one disagrees is a respectful verbal rebuttal or questioning of the other person’s ideas, not ridicule or contempt. People who are made to feel foolish or embarrassed will stop participating, and that is counterproductive to the goal of stretching their minds and inspiring them to think and learn.

I loved my “alternative” students. I found them to be the brightest, most thoughtful people in the room. I went out of my way to make them feel safe and included, always speaking to them, not reacting to whatever it was that made them stand out visually.

I recall a student from long ago who first showed up in my classroom with more metal in his face than I’ve ever seen on one person. Everything was pierced. I don’t even know how on earth he got all of that metal to stay in his skin, but I do know that I never reacted to it in any way. M was a brilliant young man who added immensely to class discussions, was a wonderful writer, and was a general delight to be around. I spoke to him, not the metal. Eventually, I believe in the second class he took with me, he showed up metal free. I continued speaking to him, not his accessory choices; then finally one day, when only he could hear, I said, “M, have I told you yet how handsome you look without the metal?” He smiled shyly, and I had a friend. I used to see him fairly often at the local Barnes and Noble, and I always got a warm greeting and a hug.

Safe classrooms, sensitive teachers and professors, and an excellent counseling staff are, in my opinion, more effective means to avoid pushing students’ buttons than are rules or words on a syllabus. During my second year of teaching, a clueless 20-something, I encountered my first such situation: a student had a flashback in my classroom; I don’t think it was related to anything we were discussing, but she was clearly distraught. I’m embarrassed to say that I handled the situation badly, and it’s one of the things I’d like a chance to go back as my older self and redo.

Knowledge, awareness, and sensitivity are essential assets for everyone entrusted with the gift of educating. These assets, however, are not acquired as a result of hard fast rules handed down by administrators who often have limited interaction with students; and they don’t happen because the professor added a few words to the syllabus. They happen through training and experience. Every faculty, from elementary through post-graduate school, has meetings. Oh, we have meeeeeetings! We have workshops, in-house training days, seminars, guest speakers.

Sensitivity to students’ trigger points should be placed high on the list of topics for training and educating educators. There are speakers who are willing to share their own experiences in order to help teachers gain understanding. The counseling staff should also participate and offer guidelines for handling vulnerable students. Every school should give the faculty instruction on when and how to refer students to counselors and should employ counselors equipped to help students who feel threatened and know when and how to seek additional help from other resources.

Instead of intruding on educators’ academic freedom by telling them what they can discuss and how they have to discuss it and what they have to add to their syllabi, we should teach them to listen. I’ve shed many tears in my office as I listened to students’ stories. As my clueless 20-something self advanced through the decades, I took on an increasing awareness of the burdens and experiences represented in my classroom; and that awareness made my opening-day lecture about tolerance and respect more fervent each time I delivered it. Rules can’t do that; only love, respect, and training can. Words on a syllabus can’t do that; only listening and caring can.

During all of the decades I spent in school, there was always, both in school and in the larger society, a dichotomy between academia and “the real world.” That was not always spoken of as a good thing; but in terms of creating a safe atmosphere, it can be a very good thing. Ideally, every classroom should be a safe space where anything can be discussed from an intellectual, academic point of view, far removed from “the real world” where violence, addiction, and discrimination are real and their effects are devastating. And ideally, things learned in the atmosphere of the safe classroom can help people return to the real world better equipped to deal with past and present violence, discrimination, or crippling addiction.

I taught Shakespeare’s Othello. Othello becomes so consumed with jealousy that he murders the wife he adores and then takes his own life when he realizes he’s been duped and played by the villain Iago. I taught Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn and numerous other works which made liberal use of the N word. I taught Langston Hughes’s “What Happens to a Dream Deferred,” a short poem about the hopelessness of those whose lives are limited by poverty and racial injustice. I taught Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet with its forbidden love and the double suicide of young people caught in a struggle between two warring families who find peace and unity only over their children’s dead bodies. I taught Stephen Crane’s Maggie a Girl of the Streets, about a young girl for whom there is no safe space; poverty and violence prevail on the streets and follow her into her home. A grown-up Maggie finds her only safe space through suicide. I even taught the Old Testament Book of Job, about the battle between good and evil in the life of a man who chose to hold onto the good even in the depths of physical and psychic pain. I taught works that deal with war, domestic violence, human greed, racial prejudice, and just about any other topic you can name.

I often prefaced the study of a work with comments about what students could expect to encounter. “You’re going to find the N word used often in this book. Let’s talk about that. Is it going to be a problem for you?” “I know it’s unusual to study a book from the Bible in a college class, but there’s a lot to be learned from the Book of Job that has nothing to do with religion. You all have different views on the Bible and religion, and we’re not here to discuss those; we’re just going to look at this exemplary piece of literature called Job.” I suppose one would call those trigger warnings, but they never appeared on my syllabus, and no administrative edict required me to say those things. I said them because I had learned that the people sitting in front of me were often vulnerable and needed to feel safe before I could expect them to engage.

Writers have raised many questions regarding this issue, and I have a few more to add to the list.

One problem I see with issues such as this one was recently articulated by a TV news person, who said something like this: We’re all so quick to suit up in our team jerseys whenever we begin social dialogues. We’re so prone to see everything in black and white, either-or, this way or that way that many people are incapable of nuanced opinions.

One team responds to John Ellison’s U of Chicago letter: “Good! ‘Bout time someone stood up to those coddled, helicopter-parented brats and gave them a dose of the real world!” The team wearing the other jerseys responds: “The U of Chicago has no sensitivity to students’ inner struggles. They’re ignoring students’ needs and turning a blind eye to the hostility which many students feel on campus.”  Both responses are simply the party line that goes with the speaker’s team jersey. What hope is there for students if even educators think on such a black-white level? What we need are some shades of gray.

Spokespeople for the U of Chicago have since attempted to clarify their position. They are not at all insensitive to people’s trigger points nor do they wish to further traumatize anyone, and they do in fact have programs to facilitate a more tolerant and inclusive campus environment. These spokespeople have expressed the shades of gray in their policies.

I also wonder what the expected outcome is for students who express discomfort with assigned readings, classroom discussions, or speakers’ topics. Will those students be allowed to opt out? Will they be given an alternate assignment? If so, will they miss some of the most valuable parts of their education? And what will happen to those students when they leave the safe cocoon of academia and return to “the real world”? Will they expect their spouses, employers, friends, and everyone else in their network to make the same accommodations? I would argue that school is the safe space, if it’s done right. Properly prepared professors and counselors can gently guide students through their trigger points, help them to engage rather than retreat, and send them back to the real world better prepared adults who can find their own safe spaces and manage their own lives, with all of the challenges that entails.

And what of the professors who dutifully insert the required warnings into their syllabi? Can we assume that they are prepared to follow through and guide students with love and empathy, or will many of them assume they’ve fulfilled their duty by providing the warnings?

I think trigger warnings and establishing safe spaces grossly oversimplifies some very complex issues. Putting words on a syllabus and giving people safe spaces to which they can escape are not necessarily bad; but in this educator’s opinion, they miss the real point, have limited effectiveness, and raise more questions than they answer.

Presidents of two other colleges weighed in on the discussion, without mentioning the U of Chicago letter and without criticizing the practice of trigger warnings and safe spaces.

Bowdoin College president Clayton Rose encouraged students:

Don’t avoid being uncomfortable, embrace it. Tomorrow, a week from now, a year from now, when you are in a discussion in class, listening to a speaker — in the dining hall, dorms, wherever — and you hear something that really pushes your buttons, that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up, you should run to it, embrace it, figure out why you are uncomfortable, unsettled, offended, and then engage with it. Engage with it in a thoughtful, objective, and respectful way. This is how you learn. This is how you become intellectually fearless. And this is how you change the world. Remind yourself that this is exactly why you are here.

Yale’s president Peter Salovey spoke to freshmen about “false narratives”: views of the world which people believe for years but which later prove unreliable.

Dr. Salovey encourages students to avoid such false narratives:

People naturally construct narratives to make sense of their world. I have been concerned to point out that in times of great stress, false narratives may dominate the public mind and public discourse, inflaming negative emotions and fanning discord. In our times especially, a wide array of instantaneous transmissions rapidly amplify such narratives. As a result, we sometimes find that anger, fear, or disgust can blind us to the complexity of the world and the responsibility to seek deeper understandings of important issues. Yale is a place for you to learn how and why to gravitate toward people who view things differently than you do, who will test your most strongly held assumptions. It is also a place to learn why it takes extraordinary discipline, courage, and persistence — often over a lifetime — to construct new foundations for tackling the most intractable and challenging questions of our time. You have come to a place where civil disagreements and deep rethinking are the heart and soul of the enterprise, where we prize exceptional diversity of views alongside the greatest possible freedom of expression.

I believe these two educators have delved far below the surface issue of trigger warnings and safe spaces and have confronted the real foundation of any system of education. They haven’t ignored the existence of trigger points, but they’ve moved to a deeper level of understanding and commitment.

Students should leave their learning environment different than they entered it. They should have confronted new ideas, dissected them, and extracted the best parts of them. They should have stretched and grown as a result of exchanging ideas with people who see the world very differently than they do. They should be prepared to live as informed, participating citizens of an increasingly global culture. I believe those things can happen only by helping students to find their own safety while they enthusiastically engage with new ideas. They’re going to need guidance, yes; but I don’t think they’re going to be helped much by simplistic rules.

 

Quotations are from https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2016/08/29/u-chicago-letter-new-students-safe-spaces-sets-intense-debate

 

 

 

 

Categories
Musings

Did You Just Call Me a Senior Citizen?!

Now don’t get me wrong. I think growing old is a beautiful thing. It means I’ve been blessed with many years of life and experience, it means I’m a survivor, it means I’ve endured whatever life has thrown at me, it means I’ve dodged a few bullets, and it generally means I’ve been very lucky. It also means I’ve reached a point where I no longer have to give a s*%t about a lot of things. It means I can sit at my computer half the day in my pajamas writing blog posts and not feel I owe anyone an explanation or apology. It means having the freedom to say what I really think and getting a pass from a lot of people because, you know, “She’s a little senile these days.”

Growing old, or as I like to call it growing up, also means I’ve had the inexpressible privilege of meeting the adults who have grown from the children I raised and knowing what beautiful people they are. It means I’ve had the greatest of all life’s gifts: meeting my children’s children, being part of their lives, and holding the exalted title of “Mimi.”

Now with all of that having been said, let’s talk about the other parts of getting old. I have now reached that “certain age” at which it’s no longer possible to pass as just one of the people in the group. I’m now the old person in the group. I recall being a very young teacher and asking my students about a folk hero of my youth, Davy Crockett. I said, “You know Davy Crockett . . .” As I continued setting up the brilliant point I was about to make, I saw a roomful of blank stares. I was shaken. Come on! Everyone in the world has heard of Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier! Then the startling realization washed over me: I am so much older than these people (only about ten years at that time) that we have not shared the same cultural experiences.

That was a pivotal moment. As time went on, I realized it was actually possible for someone to be old enough to be a college student without having been alive when President Kennedy was assassinated. They knew only what they had read in their history books, whereas I still remember where I was and how I heard the news on November 22, 1963. Then there was the time when I was teaching Martin Luther King’s “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” to a college class. I was discussing the section where Dr. King talks about the Jim Crow era racial signs, all of which I saw when they were hanging and being enforced. One student excitedly waved his hand and announced, “Oh, oh, oh, I saw some of those once in a museum!” Just shut-up.

Okay, I’ve sort of come to terms with all of those things. Being older than a lot of people just means I have wisdom and perspective, right? These are good things, right?

But then there are a few other reminders of aging which I am still struggling with. Except when I look in the mirror, I feel like the same person I was at 18 or 20, mostly. Then things happen, like a couple of interactions this week.

During a phone conversation with a young man (I never met him in person, but these days everyone is young) from my bank, I mentioned that I could handle the thing we were discussing through the online banking site. Pleasantly surprised, the nice young man responded, “Oh, great. Yes, you can do that. Most of our senior citizens are not that familiar with technology.” WHAT did you just call me? Did you call me a senior citizen? Several more times in the course of the next few minutes, he again called me a senior citizen, in each case making comparisons that were favorable to me. But senior citizen? I know you have my age right there in front of you and that I am forced to repeat it each time we begin a conversation to confirm my identity, but how dare you call me a senior citizen?

Then just yesterday I reported for my first day of volunteer duty for the Florida Democratic Party, and I met two lovely young men—who couldn’t possibly be old enough to vote—who represent the state party and who gave me my instructions. As I was preparing to return to my car and drive to my assigned spot, one of our Florida afternoon monsoons began. Real Floridians take these things in stride, knowing they’ll pass within a short time. However, I didn’t want to get soaked, especially since I’d just done my hair; and all four of my umbrellas were in the car. Brilliant. I know! So I asked if there were an umbrella I could borrow to retrieve my own and then return the borrowed one. There wasn’t, but one of the nice young men leapt to his feet and offered to retrieve mine from my car for me. I hesitated (very briefly), so he said, “Oh, it’s no problem at all! We’re young!” Dammit, they noticed that I’m not young! My pride wanted to say, “I can do it myself! I’m just as spry as you are, you little smart ass!” But my hair said, “Oh, thank you soooooo much!”

But back to the subject of what to call people of that certain age, we have to do better than senior citizen! I know, I know, this was the politically correct term that replaced old fart, old codger, etc. But seriously? Could it be any more generic? It sounds like day-old bread, things past their expiration date, the class next in line to graduate.

I’d rather be called an old broad. Yes, that is indelicate and doesn’t sound very flattering and is certainly not something you want to teach your children to call older folks. But it has per-son-al-i-ty! It suggests this is not just someone who’s advanced to the last stage before the big chill. This is someone who has lived and is still living: someone who might actually surprise some young folks with her stories.

Or how about an old biddy? I know, these keep departing further from the line of non-discriminatory language and would not have been approved in the lecture my young self gave on that subject, but this one too has some spunk. “Biddy,” according to my trusty online dictionary, means “a woman, usually an elderly one, regarded as annoying or interfering.” Yes! This lady is no milk toast, hair-in-a-bun, sweetly smiling, softly speaking pushover. This is a real woman, not afraid to use her years and authority to push other people around. She has guts, gumption! She is not a generic out-of-date article relegated to the back of the shelf.

Old bag and old bat fit the same description as old biddy: women of spunk and boldness, not afraid to throw their weight around with those foolish enough to mess with them. They have authority, and they’re not afraid to use it!

“Crone” is an interesting word, defined as “a withered witch-like old woman.” Now bear with me on this one. Don’t just reject it without giving it a fair hearing. I know the “witch-like” part is a little off putting, but think about it. A witch is someone with power, magical power. She, too, is no milk-toast, cookie-baking grandma. She has character! She’s interesting! And she’s a little intimidating, just enough to keep those young know-it-alls in line.

Years ago, when the professor-rating websites began, the first rating I ever received ended with the words “She’s a classy dame.” Yeah! You can keep your senior citizen; I’ll take “classy dame”! Back to the ole online dictionary, a dame is defined as an official title of certain women of royalty; also, “(formerly) a form of address to any woman of rank or authority; a matronly woman of advanced age; matron.” This description evokes images of a well-heeled, well-coifed, elegant woman in full command of herself and her life; and she’s probably also in command of all those young people around her, so smug about their limber, cellulite-free bodies! Yes, I want to be a dame!

One of my all-time favorite movies is Fried Green Tomatoes, and one of my all-time favorite movie scenes is one from this film in which Kathy Bates’s character has been driving around a crowded parking lot for ten minutes or more and finally spots someone leaving their parking space. Elated, Evelyn (Kathy Bates) starts to pull into the space when a small car carrying two young women zips into it ahead of her. The girls exit their car and giddily brush off Evelyn’s rage with “Face it, lady! We’re just younger and faster!” Irate at their impudence, Evelyn pauses for a moment, then backs up, gleefully shouts “Towanda!” and rams the girls’ car. Intoxicated with her freedom and power, she backs up again and again and rams the car five more times. When the girls hear the crash and return in disbelief, Evelyn smugly announces, “Face it, girls! I’m older and have more insurance!” Towanda is my hero!

When reporting her rampage to her friend Mrs. Threadgoode at the nursing home, Evelyn says:

I never get mad, Mrs. Threadgoode. Never. The way I was raised it was bad manners. Well, I got mad and it felt terrific. I felt like I could beat the shit out of all those punks. Excuse my language; just beat them to a pulp. Beat them until they begged for mercy. Towanda, the Avenger! And after I wipe out all the punks of this world I’ll take on the wife beaters, like Frank Bennett, and machine gun their genitals. Towanda on the rampage! I’ll put tiny little bombs in Penthouse and Playboy, so they’ll explode when you open them. And I’ll ban all fashion models who weigh less than 130 pounds. I’ll give half the military budget to people over 65 and declare wrinkles sexually desirable. Towanda: Righter of Wrongs, Queen Beyond Compare!

Now there’s a dame! There’s a woman I can respect. No one’s going to call Towanda a senior citizen. She has personality; she has character! She’s going to make wrinkles sexually desirable. I’m with her! Queen beyond compare! Towanda rules!

 

In case you’ve never seen the parking lot scene, here’s the YouTube link:

Categories
Politics

We Don’t Need No Stinking Pivot!

Photo: James Devaney

Pivot, schmivot! Donald Trump is once again on the clock to prove that his latest pivot can last more than 36 hours and that he is now ready to be President of the United States. In the past, when people spoke of a candidate’s pivot, they were referring to the shift which must occur between the primary—where the goal is to win over the party’s base—to the general election—where the goal is to retain that base while also appealing to a broader audience of undecided voters, voters who are not affiliated with either major party, and voters from the opposing party who are lukewarm about their own party’s candidate.

“Pivot” has never meant growing up from a toddler to an adult, ceasing to hurl insults at everyone who has offended the thin-skinned candidate, or simply showing any small sign of having a temperament suitable for the office the candidate seeks. Pivoting, in political terms, has traditionally meant tailoring and focusing the message for the new audience, not trying to figure out what the message is going to be, especially with a mere 77 days left before election day.

Even in basketball, the pivot is used by the player in possession of the ball to better position himself or herself to make a play. It’s not used for gaining possession of the ball; one has to be in control of the ball before the pivot becomes necessary.

The pivot which politicians, RNC bigwigs, and many voters have been calling for from Donald Trump fits neither of these descriptions. He can’t tailor his message from the primaries to fit the larger general electorate because he had no message then, and he has no message now; and he’s not currently in possession of the ball, given his sliding poll numbers. So what is this “pivot” of which everyone has been speaking?

Donald Trump has said one thing in the last fourteen months with which I wholeheartedly agree: “I am who I am.” And that, fellow voters, is all we need to know!

For the past fourteen months, we’ve all been watching the hottest reality TV show in history. This show beats 19 Kids and Counting, Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo, and all of the others combined. Our favorite show, Donald Trump Live!, is broadcast seven days a week on cable, network news, and the Internet, with new episodes every day—often multiple episodes in one day. And we keep tuning in because we’re so morbidly fascinated by the bizarre things we see and hear that we just can’t help ourselves. We don’t want to miss a single episode, because we have to see what he can possibly do today that will top yesterday’s or last week’s stunt.

After every episode, the TV news hosts gather their pundits around the tables to parse the latest word vomit and always to speculate about when the “pivot” will come. And after the episodes during which Trump has made some slight nod toward behaving like an adult, many assume that he has made the long-awaited “pivot” and then proceed to speculate on how long it will last this time.

Here’s the thing: There is no pivot. This “candidate” has had fourteen months in which to articulate a message, but he has squandered that time on picking fights, inciting violence, insulting every person and every group of people who have crossed his path, inciting hatred and intolerance against whole ethnic and religious communities, and in no way demonstrating the temperament necessary for being the leader of the free world.

There is no pivot because he has had fourteen months in which to gain possession of the ball against a flawed, vulnerable opponent; but he has squandered that time attacking talk show hosts, media outlets, and everyone else except his opponent.

There is no pivot because he doesn’t know the rules of the game he’s trying to play. On January 20, 2017, either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton will place his or her hand on a Bible and repeat the words, “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” For Donald Trump to honestly make that pledge, he would first have to study the Constitution, since until now he has shown no signs of ever having read it.

There is no pivot because one does not undo fourteen months of bizarre reality TV behavior and become a responsible leader in 77 days. No one could make that dramatic a change in that length of time. Tonight on Anderson Cooper’s AC360, Ana Navarro–speaking for Latino voters–said, “We’re not going to get election day amnesia.” Everyone recalls that Trump’s earliest comments in this campaign were about illegal Mexican immigrants. Maria Cardona followed up with the comment, “We’re not going to un-see or un-hear what he has done and said in the last 428 days.” In other words, he is who he is.

Change is hard for everyone; trust me, I’ve tried it. I’ve never smoked, but I’ve known many who’ve tried to quit that habit, and very few have succeeded on the first try. A habit which I’ve long needed to break is sitting on the sofa to eat dinner, on the nights when no family or friends are here, while watching the news, only to wake up around 11:00-12:00 remembering that the last face I saw was Anderson Cooper’s sometime during AC360. By the time I’ve turned off the TV, carried my dishes to the kitchen and rinsed them, checked the doors and set the alarm, washed my face, and brushed my teeth, I’m wide awake again. This is not smart; this is dumb. But I’ll be damned if I can break the habit, and it’s been years. I also need to change the consistency of my exercise habits, but we’ll talk about that another time.

The point is that what’s needed here for the star of our favorite show is not just a tweaking or tailoring of the message or better positioning himself to make his final play. What is needed for this person is a change of character, a change in his intellect, a change in his heart, a change in his morals, and a lot more; and those kinds of things don’t happen in 77 days, especially when the person has 70 years behind him.

Trump has said it repeatedly: “I am who I am.” Amen, Brother! During these last fourteen months, Trump has shown himself to be a loud-mouthed, arrogant bigot with no capacity for empathy or compassion. He has made fun of his opponents, of people with disabilities, of media personalities, of Gold Star families, of military heroes. He has promised to deport 11 million people (though that changes in each new episode), to ban a whole religious group from entering the country, to build a wall along an entire border, and all the other things you’ve heard as often as I have.

The things he has said in rallies are the same sorts of things he’s said his whole life, and the attitudes are the same ones he’s always had. In other words, he is who he is, and 77 days won’t change that.

He’s always demeaned women and boasted of his sexual conquests, he’s advanced conspiracy theories, he’s been accused of and sued for fraud and rape, he’s been guilty of dishonest business practices including according to recent reports a practice called greenmailing, he’s filed four bankruptcies, he’s been ranked the biggest liar ever rated by fact-checking organizations, and you know the rest. His adamant refusal to release his tax returns speaks volumes about his dishonesty. One who has nothing to hide does not so steadfastly resist demands for transparency.

With all of this as background—70 years and two months, 14 of those months as a candidate for POTUS—in a recent episode of our favorite reality show, he spoke these 63 words:

Sometimes, in the heat of debate and speaking on a multitude of issues, you don’t choose the right words or you say the wrong thing. I have done that. And believe it or not, I regret it. And I do regret it, particularly where it may have caused personal pain. Too much is at stake for us to be consumed with these issues.

You’d have thought we were at a tent revival and some people had just felt the spirit of God descend on them. Hallelujah, he’s pivoted! Now he’s presidential!

Even if there were a hint of sincerity in those 63 words, Donald Trump has spoken millions of words in his life; and those millions of words can’t be erased by a brief admission of having said some unspecified things about unspecified people which have done unspecified damage. This so-called apology does not suggest remorse or empathy and does not suggest a change in direction, aka “pivot.” One desperate comment does not absolve him for 14 months of irresponsible and dangerous rhetoric or 70 years of shady morals and ethics.

The real question is, with all of this evidence, why are we even still having this conversation? How on earth did our bar get set so low that a person without the slightest trace of presidential character can say 63 words and make people believe he’s qualified to be given the nuclear codes? How did our bar get set so low that we celebrate when a person running for president talks ever-so-slightly more like a grown-up for three days?

And why is Donald Trump the one person who receives this special treatment? S. E. Cupp, in a CNN article “Media Should Stop Indulging Trump Pivot Talk” (08/22/2016), says:

Yet this reality [facts cited in the previous paragraph] doesn’t seem to stop the media offering the Trump campaign the privilege of the pivot treatment. No one suggested, for example, that after Hillary Clinton admitted keeping a private server at her house was a bad idea that she was somehow pivoting toward becoming a more truthful person or accountable person. Yet, we are discussing on an almost daily basis whether Trump can pivot toward becoming a less extreme person.

What is the attraction of Donald Trump?

Trump is a morbid fascination, like the gruesome car accident that people crane their necks to see or the drunk stumbling around and falling down in the parking lot or the video that’s so stupidly amusing we watch it fifteen times while shaking our heads at how stupid it is. We can’t turn our heads from this reality show because we’re afraid we’ll miss the next outrageous performance.

Trump is also a celebrity. Even though I don’t watch reality TV or beauty pageants, I’ve long known his name as someone who built big buildings and plastered his name on them in giant letters; I recall standing in front of the Trump Towers bewildered by the sight. And I of course have heard his favorite lines from the TV shows. Even before he became a wannabe politician, he was a universally known name, a brand, someone who represented big business and the glittery New York social world. In our celebrity-obsessed culture, many people are starstruck over seeing someone famous in person. Feeling like part of his tribe and maybe even getting a chance for a selfie with him hold an irresistible appeal for lots of people.

Trump is bigger than life. Like the ridiculous letters on his buildings and his plane, he’s yuuuge. His reputation for success is evidence that he can turn anything he touches to the gaudy gold with which his whole house is gilded. If he’s built all of these companies, of course he can manage the country. How lucky would our country be to have a person of his professional caliber in the White House! And as long as he keeps those tax returns secret, the illusion of his being the consummate businessman can’t be disproved.

And finally, for the angry white men who comprise his base, Trump is a folk hero: he stands in front of audiences and brazenly speaks the forbidden words they have also said but for which they have been socially ostracized. They feel cheated, disenfranchised, and ignored by a system that has been unfair to them. Here, in this arena, however, they are the “in crowd,” their opinions are the majority opinions, and they get to make fun of all those idiots who are so politically correct and who have made them feel inferior. They get to sucker punch anyone who threatens the sanctity of their club, and their leader condones their violence and offers to pay their legal fees. They get to escort the intruders out of the club and bask in the approving smile of their esteemed leader. In the microcosm of the Trump rally, they are at the top of the social order, and that’s intoxicating.

We don’t need no stinkin’ pivot! What we need is a candidate with integrity, discipline, and knowledge. As the saying goes, the leopard can’t change its spots. A pivot is a shift, a positioning, an adjustment; it’s not a metamorphosis into a whole different being. What voters really want is for Donald Trump to grow up, to start talking and acting like an adult; and that’s just not humanly possible in 77 days. Forget the pivot. Look for another candidate.

Categories
In the News

Global Communication Means Always Having to Say You’re Sorry

In this age of global real-time communication, the public apology has become almost as routine as the daily weather report. No longer is it possible to catch a comment or an act when it’s still in the smaller stages of impact and do damage control before stuff really hits the fan. That great big fan is now running 24/7, so there’s no stopping anything once it’s been said or done.

We’ve all heard the apologies, from the politician confessing marital infidelity and typically accompanied by his stand-by-your-man wife who’d probably rather stab him at that moment than show her face to the world in front of TV cameras, to the Olympic athlete who “over-exaggerated” a story about a night of drunken reveling in Rio. And the questions are always the same: How sincere is this apology? Is it a real admission of guilt or just a “Damn, I got caught”? Accepting an apology is often even more difficult than making one, and the greater the number of hearers the greater the possibility for disagreeing on the sincerity or lack thereof.

What are the criteria for a sincere apology? Everyone has gotten the old non-apology a few times: “If I’ve offended you in any way, I’m sorry.” The speaker makes no admission of wrongdoing and therefore cannot be genuinely sorry. What this line really means is “You’re mad at me. I don’t think I did anything wrong, but I need to make you stop being mad, so I’m going to say some words to try to smooth things over.” The red flag here is the word “if”; I can’t possibly feel “sorrow” for something I don’t even know I did. According to Dr. Robert Gordon in his TED Talk The Power of the Apology, “Most people apologize to get something rather than to give something.” I couldn’t agree more.

Jeffrey Bernstein summarizes Dr. Gordon’s talk in a Psychology Today post entitled “The Three Parts of a Meaningful, Heartfelt Apology,” dated December 3, 2014. These are the three parts:

1) Acknowledgement – Being able to see how your actions impact others is key to making a sincere apology. The acknowledgement part of the apology needs to start with “I.” For example, “I am sorry for being late tonight.”

2) Remorse and Empathy  – Remorse is truly feeling bad for what you’ve done. Empathy is about being able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and know how she or he feels.

3) Restitution – This means taking action to provide an act or service to make up for the transgression.

Start with acknowledgement. One has to be sorry for something. When a child is instructed to apologize to a sibling or playmate, the child often mumbles “Sorry” while facing the opposite direction and walking away from the offended party. Anyone can see the insincerity in this situation, but is the adult who says “IF I’ve offended you, I’m sorry” any more sincere than the child? Any apology must begin with an honest mea culpa. If I’m not willing to make a humble acknowledgment of what I’ve done, there’s no way I can be feeling any sorrow for my action.

Remorse is deep regret, and empathy is putting oneself in the other’s place. It means admitting how I would feel if the situation were reversed. It means feeling the heartache I’ve imposed on another person. When I can do those things, I’m ready to say “I’m sorry” and mean it.

And finally, restitution means being willing to do something to make the offended person feel better, whether it’s sending flowers after an argument or simply making sure the offensive behavior is not repeated.

I believe it’s also important to distinguish between “I’m sorry” and “I regret.” Expressing regret does not usually qualify as an apology, because it doesn’t acknowledge wrongdoing. It is possible to honestly deeply regret a situation without feeling any personal responsibility for it. For example,

  • “I regret having to break my promise to take you to the beach because we’re under hurricane watch.”
  • “I regret that you didn’t tell me you were married before I decided to date you.”
  • “I regret having to decline the invitation to your dinner party.”

None of these examples involve guilt on the part of the speaker, but the speaker may genuinely feel bad about the situation.

With these guidelines in mind, let’s look at how two public apologies from the last week measure up: Donald Trump’s statement of regret about things he has said in campaign speeches and Ryan Lochte’s public statement regarding his escapades in Rio.

In Trump’s latest effort to turn around his failing “campaign,” he offered this admission in a speech on August 18:

Sometimes, in the heat of debate and speaking on a multitude of issues, you don’t choose the right words or you say the wrong thing. I have done that. And believe it or not, I regret it. And I do regret it, particularly where it may have caused personal pain. Too much is at stake for us to be consumed with these issues.

Is this a real apology? I would say “No.” And I would add “Hell, no!”

What’s missing here? Pretty much everything. First of all, it clearly sounds like what Dr. Gordon described as apologizing “to get something rather than to give something.” His campaign is failing and his poll numbers are sliding, so he clearly needs to get more support. Then why not try a new approach, something he had never done before? Why not admit that he has said some wrong things? Doing so might sway some voters in his direction. He was not giving anything, because he didn’t even state to whom he was “apologizing.”

Where is his acknowledgment of wrongdoing? He does say he has sometimes chosen the wrong words and said the wrong things, but he doesn’t acknowledge any statement in particular; and we all know the list he could have chosen from would fill a book. This is very much like the toddler’s apology: “Sor-ry!” Trump also begins the “apology” with an excuse: he was “in the heat of debate and speaking on a multitude of issues.” He’s already implied even before his confession that he was only being human, that these things happen. And of course they do happen, but an apology must start with taking responsibility for one’s own behavior, regardless of the circumstances.

Body language counts, too. When I saw the video of these remarks, I noticed that he pauses after “I have done that,” with a facial expression that suggests this may come as a surprise to anyone who’s not been living under a rock for the last year. He seems to be expecting affirmation that he really is a good little boy and that what he said was not that bad.

Why does he preface his expression of regret with “And believe it or not”? Why would anyone have believed up to this point that he had any regrets, since he had never said he regretted anything, never retracted a statement no matter how outrageous, and never apologized for anything? He is even on record as saying he’s never asked God to forgive him for anything, even though he claims to be a Christian.

He “regrets” unspecified wrong words about unspecified people, then adds, “particularly where it may have caused personal pain.” May have caused? He knows the pain he’s caused, or at least he’s been told. Unspecified words about unspecified people which have done unspecified damage do not suggest remorse or empathy.  This is a classic non-apology: If I’ve offended anyone, I’m sorry. How about looking into the camera and saying “Mr. and Mrs. Khan, I am so sorry for the pain my words have caused you. Your son was a hero. Please forgive me”; or “Senator McCain, Thank you for your service and sacrifice. Please forgive me for my cruel words.” He could have directly addressed any of the other dozens of people he has callously attacked.

As for restitution, so far there’s been none. At last reporting, he has made no phone calls or any attempt to reach out and make amends to any of the people he has offended. And although he attributes his “wrong words” to “the heat of debate,” that excuse doesn’t hold up because he has never made his insulting remarks only one time. When confronted with any specific attack, his standard response has been to double down and reinforce the original words when he is no longer in the heat of a moment. And since he has made no effort at restitution after his speech, I think listeners are justified in doubting his sincerity.

Now how does Mr. Lochte’s public statement hold up to scrutiny? Here’s what he said:

I want to apologize for my behavior last weekend — for not being more careful and candid in how I described the events of that early morning and for my role in taking the focus away from the many athletes fulfilling their dreams of participating in the Olympics. I waited to share these thoughts until it was confirmed that the legal situation was addressed and it was clear that my teammates would be arriving home safely.

It’s traumatic to be out late with your friends in a foreign country — with a language barrier — and have a stranger point a gun at you and demand money to let you leave, but regardless of the behavior of anyone else that night, I should have been much more responsible in how I handled myself and for that am sorry to my teammates, my fans, my fellow competitors, my sponsors, and the hosts of this great event. I am very proud to represent my country in Olympic competition and this was a situation that could and should have been avoided. I accept responsibility for my role in this happening and have learned some valuable lessons.

I think this one measures up to the criteria a little better than Trump’s does. He does acknowledge a specific wrong: “not being more careful and candid in how I described the events.” I’d feel better if he’d said “I’m sorry for lying about the events,” since I’m not a big fan of euphemism; but this is at least a somewhat specific acknowledgment. He also expresses some remorse and empathy by naming specific people who were hurt by his actions and how they were hurt. He seems to have some understanding of how it would feel to be in their place. It remains to be seen whether he will make any form of restitution, and that decision will probably be dictated at least in part by the authorities. If, however, he has in fact “learned some valuable lessons,” we should be able to expect better behavior from him in the future.

On the other hand, he implies that he’s sticking to his original story when he offers the excuse about the stranger pointing a gun at him and demanding money from him. Like Trump’s excuse that he spoke “in the heat of debate,” this excuse weakens the apology by implying that his actions were the result of circumstances beyond his control.

Although Lochte acknowledges his wrong words, he says nothing of his wrong actions. He never mentions the acts of vandalism or public drunkenness, without which he’d have had no reason to lie about his evening and there would have been no story. His apology is better, I think, but still incomplete.

Saying “I’m sorry” is hard, especially when it has to be said in front of the whole world. We all want to excuse our behavior, even when it’s wrong. “Humble pie” tastes terrible. It’s also sometimes hard to accept an apology: the hurt is too deep, I’m not quite finished being mad at you yet, you’ve given me no reason to believe you’re going to change, or I’ve heard this song before.

Public apologies will continue as long as there are politicians and TV/radio personalities. We’ve heard them before, and we’ll hear them again; but sometimes the apology comes too late, and sometimes it’s just desperate words and not an apology at all. Sometimes “sorry” isn’t enough to make up for the damage done. We’re the court of public opinion, and we’ll decide which ones we believe and which ones we don’t. Meanwhile, maybe we can all hum along with Elton John:

It’s sad, so sad, it’s a sad, sad situation
And it’s getting more and more absurd
It’s so sad so sad, why can’t we talk it over?
Oh, it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Kids and Grands

Kids Get Cancer, Too!

Photo credit to Anna Risinger
Photo credit to Anna Risinger

On November 28, 2013, the term Black Friday took on a whole new meaning for my family. With Thanksgiving over and Christmas just weeks away, my daughter’s household woke up with happy thoughts of decorating the house, baking cookies, and generally beginning to feel the spirit of the season. As the day was only getting underway, my son-in-law Shane noticed a bump just above my granddaughter Kayla’s left clavicle. Probably nothing, they thought, but it couldn’t hurt to have the pediatrician take a peek just to confirm that it was “nothing” and they could get back to ornaments and cookies. By the end of that day, however, my daughter Lisa was having her first conversation with a pediatric oncologist at Seattle Children’s Hospital.

Just before Christmas, the diagnosis was complete: Kayla had high risk, stage 4 neuroblastoma. She would spend the next thirteen months on a treatment schedule which consisted of three phases and included chemotherapy, surgery to remove the mass, radiation, bone marrow transplant, and immunotherapy. All of this would take place at Seattle Children’s under the supervision of Dr. Julie Park, a leading neuroblastoma specialist.

Kayla had just had her second birthday in September and was a happy toddler with an eight-month-old baby brother. The last thing on anyone’s mind at that time was spending the next thirteen months in cancer treatment. But on that very black Friday, my family became a “cancer family,” and our sense of “normal” got a major reboot. Lisa’s family life was no longer structured around play dates and trips to the park; the new normal was structured around hospital stays, phases of the treatment schedule, testing and scan days, and the daily possibility of medical emergencies. For the grandparents, the new normal was a tag-team plan to help care for the household and especially the baby. For Roan, little brother, the new normal was days at a time without seeing his mommy because she had to be at the hospital with his sister. And for all of us, the new normal meant looking into the ugly, terrifying face of death, not knowing how this awful ordeal would end.

For those of you who don’t know our story, our precious Kayla is still very much alive and looking forward to celebrating her fifth birthday [updated: 8th birthday] this month. She has suffered losses as a result of her life-saving treatment, some of which we won’t know until she’s older; but we’re grateful every day that our world is still lighted by her smile, made musical by her laugh, and energized by her creativity and zest for life.

I’m writing this article because September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month; and I think there are lots of people who, like me, thought cancer a rare occurrence among children. Middle-aged and older people get cancer, but kids not so much. Right? No, that’s wrong. In reality, cancer is the number-one cause of death by disease in children past infancy in the United States (National Cancer Institute). Many people assume any childhood cancer is leukemia; but although leukemia is the most common type, other common types are brain and other central nervous system tumors, lymphoma, rhabdomyosarcoma, neuroblastoma, Wilms tumor, bone cancer, gonadal (testicular and ovarian) cancers, and germ cell tumors (National Cancer Institute). In addition to these, there’s a list of more rare types of childhood cancer. A young friend who was diagnosed at the same time Kayla was had osteosarcoma in the humerus of his right arm. All together, there are 16 major types and over 100 subtypes (Cure Childhood Cancer).

Here are a few more facts I think everyone should know about the occurrence of childhood cancer:

  • The incidence of childhood cancer is on the increase, averaging 0.6% increase per year since mid 1970’s resulting in an overall increase of 24% over the last 40 years (Coalition against Childhood Cancer, CAC2).
  • One in 285 children were diagnosed with cancer in 2014 (CAC2).
  • 16,000 U. S. children are diagnosed every year. Specifically, 43 children per day or 15,780 children per year were expected to be diagnosed with cancer in 2014 (10,450 ages 0 to 14, and 5,330 ages 15 to 19) (CAC2).
  • More than 40,000 children undergo treatment every year (CAC2).
  • The average age at diagnosis is 6, compared to the average age of 66 for adult cancer diagnosis (CAC2).

Statistics vary because researchers use different definitions of “child.” The above statistics apply to people from birth through 19 years of age.

And these are a few of the sobering facts about the prognoses for children who are diagnosed:

  • More children die of cancer every year than adults died on 9/11 (Kids v Cancer).
  • Cancer kills more children than AIDs, asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis and congenital anomalies combined (Kids v Cancer).
  • The average age of death for a child with cancer is 8, causing a child to lose 69 years of expected life (Kids v Cancer).
  • The average 5-year survival rate for childhood cancers when considered as a whole is 83% (meaning an overall 17% die) (The Truth 365).
  • Survival rates can range from almost 0% for cancers such as DIPG, a type of brain cancer, to as high as 90% for the most common type of childhood cancer known as Acute Lymphoma Leukemia (ALL) (The Truth 365).
  • The average survival rate not including children with ALL is 80% (The Truth 365).
  • In 2010 there were 379,112 childhood cancer survivors in the United States (The Truth 365).
  • Approximately 1 in 530 young adults between the ages of
 20 years and 39 years is a survivor of childhood cancers (The Truth 365).
  • More than 95% of childhood cancer survivors will have a significant health-related issue by the time they are 45 years of age; these health-related issues are side effects of either the cancer or more commonly, the result of its treatment. One third will suffer severe and chronic side effects; one third will suffer moderate to severe health problems; and one third will suffer slight to moderate side effects (The Truth 365).
  • About 35% of children diagnosed with cancer will die within 30 years of diagnosis (The Truth 365).
  • On average, about 17% of children die within 5 years of diagnosis. Among those children that survive to five years from diagnosis, 18% will die within 30 years of diagnosis (The Truth 365).
  • Those that survive the five years have an eight times greater mortality rate due to the increased risk of liver and heart disease and increased risk for recurrence of the original cancer or of a secondary cancer (The Truth 365).
  • The death of a child is one of the most traumatic events a family might face (Kids v Cancer).
  • The average cost of a stay in a hospital for a child with cancer is $40,000 per stay (The Truth 365).
  • On average, pediatric hospitalizations for cancer cost almost five times as much as hospitalizations for other pediatric conditions (The Truth 365).
  • Families who have lost children are often financially and emotionally depleted (Kids v Cancer).

There’s much more information available, but this gives you a good primer on the subject.* (List of links below the article)

Finally, here are a few other disturbing statistics:

  • For 2014, the National Cancer Institute (NCI) budget was $4.9 billion. It was anticipated that childhood cancer would receive 4% of that sum or $195 million (The Truth 365).
  • Prostate cancer (patient average age at diagnosis, 66 years), receives more research funding from NCI than all childhood cancers (patient average age at diagnosis, 6 years) (The Truth 365).
  • There are 71 potential life years lost on average when a child dies of cancer compared to 17 potential life years lost for adults (The Truth 365).

Only 4% of the research funding available is designated specifically for childhood cancer! That needs to change. Now. I’m all in favor of saving the hoo-ha’s and the tata’s, but our children also deserve at least a fair chance at those extra 71 years!

It’s difficult to find anything positive about being a cancer family, but our family was fortunate in many ways. My daughter and son-in-law live 20 minutes from one of the leading children’s hospitals in the country, so they were able to be in their own home during treatment except the 135 in-patient days (this is the total of individual days spread out over 13 months). Many families have to travel to be near their treatment center and be out of their homes for months at a time. My son-in-law has excellent health insurance through the company he works for, but we all know that many families face financial hardship on top of the physical and emotional toll because they have no insurance or inadequate insurance. Kayla has grandparents who either are retired or have flexible work arrangements so that we were able to be in Seattle as long as we were needed. Lisa and Shane had made the decision to be a one-income family (his) when Kayla was born, so they had already made the necessary budget adjustments and didn’t have to deal with those concerns at the same time they were facing Lisa’s needing to live at the hospital with Kayla for 135 days.

Childhood cancer is a nasty, ugly thing, and it affects the whole family and community. My family and I will be forever indebted to Team Kayla who saw us through the darkest days in ways too numerous to list here. Thank you again!!!

If this information is new to you, learn more, and then use your influence to continue building awareness and to increase research funding. Check out the Make-a-Wish Foundation and all of the other organizations that support families devastated by this horrible disease. Visit your local children’s hospital if you have one. Check out Mikayla Vickers’s Facebook page “Packages of Hope.” Make September the beginning but not the end of your childhood cancer awareness.

Knowledge is power! And now you know.

*Find more information here:

https://www.thetruth365.org/cancer-facts/

http://www.cancer.gov/types/childhood-cancers/child-adolescent-cancers-fact-sheet

http://www.kidsvcancer.org/facts/

http://www.curechildhoodcancer.org/about-cure/childhood-cancer-facts/

Categories
Politics Religion

“Christian Democrat” Is Not an Oxymoron!

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Walk into the average evangelical church, and to some extent even mainstream churches, and ask for a show of hands: How many of you are registered Democrats? I can tell you the response would be sparse. So how has it happened that the Republican Party has become the default political affiliation for those who belong to the Christian faith? And how is it that many self-identified Christians look askance at other Christians who are registered Democrats or who cop to being [gasp!] liberal or left-leaning?

According to Frank Schaeffer, in his book Crazy for God, “Evangelicals weren’t politicized (at least not in the current meaning of the word) until after Roe v. Wade and after [religious leaders] stirred them up over the issue of abortion.” Schaeffer goes on to chronicle how the single issue of abortion became the litmus test for the Republican Party’s choice of candidates and right-wing voters’ willingness to support a candidate.

Schaeffer also says:

Bush Jr. was the “Christians’” president. So it was bitterly ironic that Bush Jr. was personally responsible for, amongst other self-inflicted horrors, the persecution, displacement, and destruction of the one million, three hundred thousand-person beleaguered Christian minority in Iraq. They had fared much better under the secular regime of Saddam Hussein . . .

It bears repeating: Bush Jr., the Bible-believing, born-again president, delivered up his Iraqi fellow Christians to be destroyed. They fled, died, or went into hiding because a “faith-based” evangelical American president stupidly unleashed a civil war.

Mr. Schaeffer has much more to say on the subject; for those who are interested, it’s in chapter 57.

I’d like to select just one more quotation:

It seems to me that by demanding ideological purity on abortion (and other single issues as well), both parties have worked to eliminate the sorts of serious smart pragmatic people who make competent leaders. What we are left with are those willing to toe the party theological line . . .

But what if absolute consistency on any issue from the left or the right, religious or secular, is an indication of mediocre intelligence and a lack of intellectual honesty? What if the world is a complex place? What if leadership requires flexibility?

Obviously, these are Frank Schaeffer’s opinions and interpretations, and readers are free to agree or disagree with what he says. I’d like to focus on this statement, with which I strongly agree: “It seems to me that by demanding ideological purity on abortion (and other single issues as well), both parties have worked to eliminate the sorts of serious smart pragmatic people who make competent leaders.” George W. Bush left the White House almost eight years ago, and abortion is still legal. So what did the Right gain by electing a “pro-life” president who did not succeed in reversing Roe v. Wade (as they wished) but who did lead our country into two wars which have cost thousands of lives, billions of dollars, and irreparable damage to our national morale? I’d say they made a really bad deal.

I know many people who question how any Christian can possibly belong to a party that condones abortion, and I would ask those same people how they possibly can belong to a party that condones the racism and disrespect that Republicans have shown President Obama for the last eight years. Although I am not in complete agreement with the Democratic Party’s views on abortion, I believe the Republican Party belies its passion for life by disrespecting life and human dignity in many other actions and policies. Making abortion an extreme religious issue polarized views to the extent that, in my opinion, all intelligent discussion on the subject was cut off.

That being said, let’s look at some of the major differences between the current Republican and Democratic Parties. The two parties differ on many issues, but the most incendiary for most people are social issues and social programs. As already stated, abortion has been a moral battleground for decades, with marriage rights, LGBT rights, and gun ownership becoming equally intense and polarizing in more recent years. And very recently, we’ve added bathroom wars and gender identity to the list. Democrats as a group support government social programs such as welfare, unemployment, food stamps, and health care for people in need and approve of their tax dollars being used to support those programs. Republicans as a group are less willing to allocate tax dollars for social programs and prefer allowing private organizations to attend to the needs of the less fortunate. Of course, there are other differences, but these seem to be the real battlegrounds between the two parties. And these are also the reasons many Christians believe the only party they can in good conscience belong to is the one that opposes abortion, same-sex marriage, stricter regulation on gun ownership (I’ll never understand that one!), changes to traditional gender definitions, and giving “hand-outs” to those “too lazy to work like the rest of us.”

Regardless of where one stands on any one of those issues, choosing either party based on just one thing out of the list and declaring that party the only choice for people of faith can lead only to inconsistency and hypocrisy. How does one reconcile being anti-abortion and pro-guns? Life is life, right? How do those who so rigidly oppose welfare programs convince themselves they are following Jesus’ teachings to love and care for the poor, to give the cup of cold water in his name? The list could go on and on, but suffice it to say that anyone who values consistency can’t choose a party or cast a vote based on any single issue.

Someone recently shared with me an article titled “Wake Up, Christians. There Is No Place for You in the Democrat Party,” by a blogger named Matt Walsh. Mr. Walsh addresses his article to someone named Lana who has emailed him that she is proudly both a Christian and a Democrat. His response, long on sarcasm and ridicule, short on reason and logic, begins:

Please don’t misunderstand me. A Christian can certainly be a Democrat, just like a Christian can be a Buddhist, or a Christian can be a Scientologist, or a Christian can worship a goat or a join a suicide cult. Christians can do anything and believe anything while still retaining the title of Christian — that is, so long as we define “Christian” as “Someone who says they are one.” It’s no surprise that Democrats would define the term in such a way, seeing as how these days they even define “man” and “woman” that way. In the liberal world, in order to be something all one must do is declare that they are that thing. This is a view shared by my 3-year-old and by Michael Scott from “The Office,” who famously declared bankruptcy by standing outside and shouting, “I declare bankruptcy!”

Walsh goes on to offer this definition:

A Christian, by definition, believes that Christ is the Son of God; that He was sent to Earth to suffer and die for our sins, opening up the gates of Heaven for all who follow Him (John 3:16). If we accept and believe this great Truth, we are Christian. And we remain Christian even if we stumble, sin, and fall short of perfection, as I have done and continue to do more often than I care to admit.

Moving on, Walsh makes this statement:

I’m saying that being a “loyal Democrat,” as you describe yourself, requires that you fundamentally reject the authority of Christ. Not in the sense of sinning and falling short, but in the sense of actually disbelieving and condemning some of His most important teachings and some of the most essential lessons of Scripture.

Huh? That contradicts my experience because some of the finest Christians I know are Democrats, just as some are Republicans. I don’t associate people’s faith with their political party.

And there’s more:

The question is this: Can you believe that Christ is Lord and that the Holy Bible is the inspired Word of God and also believe that Christ was, in some cases, a liar or a fool, and that the inspired Word of God needs to be trimmed and updated? And if you disbelieve these massive chunks of the Bible, how can you believe in Christ, considering the Bible tells us about Christ? And if you don’t believe everything Christ said, how can you believe that He is Lord, considering we only know that He is Lord because He told us? You can believe and fall short at the same time, but can you believe in Christianity and resolutely reject its precepts at the same time?

Am I the only person wondering right now what these massive chunks of Scripture are which he is implying (I think) that the entire Democratic Party denies or disbelieves?

Walsh then launches into a long rant about abortion and at the end tacks on a few thoughts about same-sex relationships and transgender people. Finally, he begins his conclusion with the line “So, can you be a Christian and agree with the Democrats on all of these points? The answer is clearly no.” So there. You are no longer a Christian because some guy named Matt Walsh says you’re not.

I mention Mr. Walsh’s article because it so clearly articulates the thinking of many other evangelicals with whom I’ve spoken in person. I have many questions for this writer; one of them is this: Does anyone—Republican, Democrat, or one of the third parties—agree on ALL points with the party platform? Or do most of us choose the party that most closely fits our personal values in both word and spirit, even though we have points of disagreement?

I respect people who choose to label themselves independents or who opt to belong to a party other than the two major parties. I have chosen to be a registered Democrat (and a Christian) because in the state of Florida, independents are not allowed to vote in primary elections; and although some of the third parties seem to have a great deal to offer and will hopefully some day grow to exercise more clout, right now, they don’t have the clout necessary to fight undesirable majority-party candidates.

Contrary to Matt Walsh’s definition, I believe a Christian is one who is committed to following the teachings and example of Jesus; and those teachings and that example do not include membership in any particular political party. Jesus famously responded to someone trying to trap him into making a statement about the relationship of faith to politics: “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” I don’t know about anyone else, but I think Jesus just made the very first statement regarding separation of church and state, and I believe those who are committed to living by his example may choose either political party or no political party without compromising their faith.

I strongly believe in the sanctity of life, but I believe that includes all life. If we loved and cared for those in need as Jesus taught, we might have fewer crisis pregnancies. We would have more efficient systems for adopting children who sometimes wait years to be placed in forever homes. We would take better care of our veterans. We would do our best to keep guns out of the hands of dangerous people. We wouldn’t threaten programs like Social Security and Medicare which are the life support of the oldest among us. We would try to help those who have come to us in desperation, seeking a better life for themselves and their families instead of threatening them with wholesale deportation. We would love transgender persons, whether or not we understand them. We would allow people to find love and happiness with their partners of choice, even if we don’t understand or approve. And yes, we’d have some intelligent discussions about abortion instead of waving signs on one side and parroting catchy slogans on the other side; we’d listen to each other and work to do what’s best for the most helpless among us.

I’ve concluded that it’s not my job to attempt to legislate how other people live their lives so long as those people are living peaceably and not harming others. No one needs my approval, and no one will be changed by my disapproval. Those who sincerely attempt to follow the example set by Jesus will not attempt to police the 7.4 billion other human beings currently living on our planet and impose their values on them. Jesus didn’t. Jesus didn’t vet people before he fed or healed them. The only people with whom he got testy were the Pharisees, who were the local hypocrites. He taught people how they should live but didn’t reject those who deviated from his teachings. He showed love and forgiveness to all he met. Can those who claim to be his followers say the same?

The most vocal Christians today, the Matt Walshes and others, teach a view of Christianity greatly at odds with the teachings of the one who founded their faith. There is little love or acceptance in their actions and a great deal of judgment and rigidity, and they have found a home in the modern Republican Party. I, however, cannot belong to a party that values gun ownership over public safety or that protects the lives of the unborn but disrespects the lives of immigrants and people of other faiths or ethnicities or lifestyles. I can’t belong to a party whose lawmakers have spent the last almost eight years doing nothing but obstruct, instead of the job they were sent to Washington to do, just to spite a black president and make sure they diminish his legacy. I can’t belong to a party that would shut down the government and jeopardize the citizens they were elected to serve in order to defeat the president’s signature piece of legislation. I can’t belong to a party whose lawmakers refuse to perform their constitutional duty of interviewing and voting on the sitting president’s Supreme Court appointee. Racism, disrespect, and failure to perform duties—none of those qualities are Christ-like; yet Christians accept the people who practice such ungodly behavior because those same people toe the party line of being opposed to abortion, same-sex marriage, and transgender rights. Wow!

And last of all, I absolutely cannot support the party which has perpetrated the greatest fraud I have witnessed in my lifetime: foisting upon voters a reality TV clown as a candidate for the high office of the presidency of the United States. This “candidate” exemplifies none of the Christian values with which I am familiar, yet he has the overwhelming support of the religious right. The Republican Party has placed voters in the unthinkable position of having only one viable candidate. And since that candidate is one who is widely disliked and distrusted, many will vote for the clown and rue the fact that they were not given an acceptable choice.

The fact is there is plenty in the ideology of both political parties that is out of harmony with the Christian faith; but if we’re giving to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s, I don’t believe we should expect politics and religion always to agree. So yes, I’m a Christian and I’m a Democrat, and I think I’m in good company. “Christian Democrat” is not an oxymoron; it describes some of the finest and most godly people I know.

 

 

 

Categories
Politics

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones

. . . but words can never hurt me.

A familiar line? My parents and teachers taught me and my classmates and friends this retort to invalidate the power of bullies who said cruel things to us or called us mean names. And although it did make us feel a little better at the time, on reflection, this statement is simply not true. Bruises, abrasions, broken bones—these things heal in time; but the damage done by words lives on in the soul and can last a lifetime.

I had a graduate school professor who talked about “parental tapes”: those recordings in our brains of the things our parents said which continue to influence how we see ourselves and how we respond to the world well into our adult years. People who have been told that they’re lazy or too fat or less smart than someone else or that they’ll never amount to much will often fulfill those words in their adult lives. Words inform self-image, which leads to actions, which result in failure and unhappiness. On the contrary, children who have heard positive words about themselves will often live up to the image created by their good “parental tapes.”

I graduated from high school decades ago, but certain words spoken by unkind classmates still trigger involuntary responses in my mind. Even before high school, I recall watching my grandmother can jelly. Each time she prepared to pour hot jelly into a jar, she placed a spoon in the jar. When I asked why she did that, she replied, “To keep the jar from breaking, stupid.” My grandmother didn’t think I was stupid; this was a careless word spoken at a busy moment. She was a very kind and loving woman who was still raising and caring for grandchildren until she died. I remember many kind things she did and said, but that one careless word has also stuck throughout the decades.

The power of words to injure and to incite rage and violence in our age of mass communication, when every word spoken by a public figure is heard live or is on the Internet within minutes of being uttered, is extraordinary and causes thoughtful people to pause and reflect. I’ve heard it said recently, “You’re responsible for what you say, and you’re also responsible for what people hear.” How can that be? some may ask. I can’t help what someone else hears. Well, of course no one can anticipate how every listener will respond, but everyone can—and must—consider carefully the impact which spoken words might possibly have on those who hear them. Freedom of speech is not freedom to insult, bully, or harass. It is not freedom to incite violence or panic. It’s often been said, “You can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded theater unless there really is a fire”–pointing to the limits on our freedom to say whatever we like, when the words we say may cause harm to others. Laws governing libel and slander also enforce the requirement to speak responsibly and civilly.

To our great shame as a nation, we have a reality TV show going on right now in the guise of a presidential campaign. We have a candidate who is a loose cannon, saying whatever pops into his head at any given moment. The Republican candidate’s loose tongue is disturbing and dangerous on many levels. Insulting and bigoted remarks toward women, immigrants, the media—these all reveal deficiencies in his character and knowledge and are reason enough to discount his seriousness as a candidate for the highest office in our government. But even more frightening are his accusations against his Democratic opponent and our sitting president. Regardless of personal opinions about them, calling our national leaders the founder and co-founder of the world’s largest terrorist organization is unconscionable, especially by someone who thinks he’s fit to serve as our president and to unify us as a nation.

Statements such as calling members of the media “the lowest form of life,” suggesting that an opponent’s father was involved in JFK’s assassination, sparring with a Gold Star family, stating with “100%” certainty that his opponent can’t possibly win the state of Pennsylvania except by cheating, referring to his opponent as “Crooked Hillary,” remaining silent while his adrenaline-fueled supporters chant “Lock her up,” and suggesting that his opponent might be conveniently assassinated are unprecedented in presidential politics. They would be more at home in a high school locker room or a fifth-grade contest for class president. The fact that a chronologically mature adult would publicly make such statements defies belief.

The candidate continues to evade responsibility for his incendiary words by playing cunning games. His statements are made in ways that allow him to easily deny that he said what everyone clearly heard. He called President Obama and Hillary Clinton the founder and co-founder of ISIS. When an interviewer tried to give him a graceful way to make sense of his false claim, he dug in and said he absolutely meant the accusation in the most literal sense: they founded ISIS. But as media attention continued, he reversed his course, said he was only being sarcastic, and called the media stupid and “the lowest form of life” because they don’t get his humor.

Same game, different statement. When he suggested that Ted Cruz’s father was involved with Lee Harvey Oswald’s assassination of President Kennedy, he brushed it off as simply pointing out an article which other people had seen; “they” said these things, he didn’t. Same game, yet another statement. He suggested that the “second amendment people” might do something to prevent Hillary Clinton’s liberal SCOTUS appointments. But when confronted, he claimed he meant the “second amendment people” would surely vote against her and help him win the election.

Is it possible that he’s just so stupid he doesn’t know what he’s doing? It’s possible, but does anyone want someone that stupid to be leader of the free world? Or is it possible that he actually does know what he’s doing and phrases his messages in ways that allow him to deny responsibility? That’s also possible, and I for one believe he is well aware of the games he plays and is a master of manipulation who is consciously conning millions of people. He’s perpetrated scams before, but this one is by far the largest and has the most far-reaching consequences.

This is where the statement “You’re responsible for what you say, and you’re responsible for what people hear” becomes important. It doesn’t really matter whether Trump was suggesting that gun owners become assassins or simply use the power of their vote; it doesn’t matter whether he really meant to say that Obama and Clinton co-founded ISIS or he was being sarcastic. The statements are indefensible, regardless of their meaning, because what he said allows different people to hear very different messages. No one can control others’ hearing 100%, but it is the speaker’s responsibility to anticipate the obvious legitimate interpretations of his words and make every effort to be sure the intended meaning is the one that is heard. A speaker who doesn’t do that is either stupid or manipulative—neither of which belongs on a resume for the presidency.

Entire news cycles are devoted to parsing this candidate’s words to determine what they mean: time which could much more profitably be spent comparing candidates’ stances on real issues or reporting other important events. Instead, viewers are treated to nightly round-table discussions of the latest verbal vomit from the RNC candidate, keeping full media attention on him and away from his opponent or anyone else who may have happened to make news that day. And to the news media, I would also say, “It doesn’t matter what he meant!!!” His words disqualify him. Period. The most important thing we do every four years as a nation is elect our leader. This is a privilege denied the citizens of many other nations, a privilege we should treat with respect and reverence. Seeing this process reduced to reality TV should make every responsible citizen heart-sick and disgusted.

The defense “I was joking” or “I was being sarcastic” is not an excuse, either. This is not stand-up comedy or reality TV; this is a presidential campaign. Voters want to hear serious proposals or serious concerns about the opposing candidate–not outrageous “jokes” which serve only to demean the process and to plant seeds in the minds of unstable listeners who may take the “jokes” seriously and act on them. One doesn’t tell jokes at a funeral, especially ones that make negative statements about the deceased. Sometimes humor is inappropriate. The presidency of the United States is not a joking matter.

In a Daily Kos article, a writer who calls himself CleverNickName says he believes Trump was only joking about someone shooting Mrs. Clinton and adds:

But that doesn’t matter, because the threat that he made today isn’t limited to Secretary Clinton. When someone in the position he is in — a celebrity entertainer who is the Republican nominee for president — suggests that not only would it be acceptable for the Second Amendment Crowd to go take care of her, but laughs about it, he is normalizing violent behavior, on a national stage.

He continues:

But what about the angry alt-right guy who wants to go use his Second Amendment Remedy to take care of another [person] who bothers him?  . . . What about that guy, who is waiting to hear someone say what the voices in his head are saying? How much did the danger to us and people like us go up today, because Donald Trump normalized and amplified his thinking?

Beyond the surreal feeling of disbelief renewed with each daily dose of outlandish verbiage lie very real dangers. On Wednesday, November 9, if the Democratic candidate wins (Please, God!), the millions of people who have supported and voted for the speaker of these irresponsible words will not be going back to business as usual and happily looking forward to January and the inauguration of the second President Clinton. The adrenaline- and testosterone-fueled rally goers who chant, swing fists, assault protesters, stage angry mob scenes outside rally venues yelling “F*&% everyone” will be angry. By telling these angry mobs that the election may be rigged and that the opponent can win only by cheating, not only is Trump covering his ass in advance to explain his loss but he’s also insuring vengeance against the system and the opponent who beat him. If millions of supporters who already felt angry, cheated, and ignored now believe their messiah was robbed of his rightful victory, there could be riots unlike anything we’ve seen before. And since most of these people are also gun toters, the possibilities are frightening beyond imagination.

Donald Trump is playing verbal dodge ball: he says things, and when his words are thrown back at him, he ducks and dodges so that nothing sticks to him. But the damage is done as soon as the words are spoken, and the Republican Party can’t figure out what to do. The Party of Lincoln has become a national disgrace: what bitter irony! The party that saved the union and made us all equal is now set to begin a new civil war, in some ways more devastating than the war of 1861-1865. The hand-wringing, the tentative endorsements, the apologies for their candidate’s latest childish antic, the bail-outs by those who can’t stomach remaining party to the disgrace—none of this is going to stop the destruction of their party and the damage to our country.

Words matter. They may not break bones, but they can do irreparable damage.

In the words of Dr. Maya Angelou,

Words are things, I’m convinced. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, in your clothes, and finally, into you. We must be careful about the words we use. Someday we will be able to measure the power of words.

In the same interview with Oprah Winfrey, Ms. Angelou continues:

On June 4, 2003 I wrote, “When I was thinking about how to explain why one’s choice of words are so important, I came across an article titled ‘Seeking Peace Through Our Words’ written by Lauren Grabelle, a rabbinic intern at Congregation Beth-El Zedeck in Indianapolis.”

This was during the first war in Iraq when the elder George Bush was in office. Grabelle wrote, “Jews are instructed not simply to desire peace, but to ‘seek peace and pursue it’ (Psalm 34:15). The question for us, then, is how do we seek peace when we are in the midst of conflict? How do we pursue peace in a time of war? The same psalm that instructs us to ‘seek peace and pursue it’ tells us to ‘guard your tongues from speaking evil and your lips from deceitful speech.’ Peace begins with the very words we utter. When we speak words of hate, we create hate. When we speak words of peace, we create peace.”

Dr. Angelou continues to quote Ms. Grabelle:

“We can pursue peace by engaging in dialogue. We have to consider the words of those whose views are different than [sic] our own. Hearing perspectives other than our own allows us to continue to see those around us as btselem elohim, created in the Divine image.

In the current situation, we may not feel like we have much control over what is going on in the world. Yet we do have control over what we say in response to the world around us. We could use our words and our voices to say hateful things about those with whom we fight and disagree or we could use words to seek common ground. We could make statements of resignation. Or we can use our words to uplift ourselves and to remind us of our common humanity.”*

Peace and love to you all!

 

 

*Here’s the link to the article about Dr. Angelou: http://jewishpostopinion.com/?page_id=1608

And this is the link to the Daily Kos article:

http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/8/9/1558491/-Trump-s-assassination-call-isn-t-just-a-threat-to-Secretary-Clinton?

Categories
From the Kitchen

The Divine Mango: Dining with the Gods and My New Favorite Cookbook

The divine mango has to be at least one of the foods of the gods! Sweet, juicy, dense, and creamy, its fruit is tantalizing and addictive–whether you’re looking for something to add to your oatmeal or want to make a fancy sauce for dinner. Although my backyard mango tree is still young and small, it yielded an abundant crop this year which has not only kept me in delectable snacks for a whole month but which has also filled a shelf in my pantry with mango goodies to be enjoyed and shared until next year’s crop appears.

And that brings me to the second part of the title: my new favorite cookbook! I did some canning many years ago when my two sons were toddlers and I took a few years to stay home with them. But after resuming a full-time teaching schedule, my canning equipment was moved to my mom’s attic. But now retirement–and a good mango crop–has rekindled my interest; so my good friend and chef extraordinaire, Bevi, recommended the excellent book Mrs. Wheelbarrow’s Practical Pantry, by Cathy Barrow.

The book is beautifully laid out, with lots of lavish color photographs; it contains easy-to-follow instructions for quality and safety in canning; and the recipes–the most important part–are to die for. In addition to the canning and preserving recipes, she’s inserted “bonus recipes” throughout the book, such as “Mrs. Wheelbarrow’s Perfect Piecrust,” on page 133. I haven’t tried that one yet, but you can bet I will! Here’s another bonus recipe I can’t wait to try: “Beet Salad with Orange and Candied Pecans” on page 257. Yummmm

The recipes I used to preserve my mango crop are “Strawberry Mango Jam” (page 63), “Mango Chutney” (page 104), and “Carmen Miranda Tropical Fruit Preserves” (page 110). All of these can be processed by the water bath method, which makes them even easier.

The strawberry-mango jam is a simple but delicious combo of mangoes, strawberries, sugar, and a little lemon juice. So far, these have been the favorite among friends and neighbors.

Mango chutney is a more savory condiment, excellent on chicken and fish as well as a long list of other recommendations (page 105). Mangoes, onion, garlic, crystallized ginger, golden raisins, dried sour cherries, mustard seeds, kosher salt, cider vinegar, brown sugar, and hot chiles add layers of flavor which I can only imagine will improve with age (in the jars).

The Carmen Miranda Tropical Fruit Preserves are an enticing combination of mangoes, papaya, lemon juice, lime juice and zest, sugar, crystallized ginger, dark rum, coriander seeds, and black pepper. She had me at rum! This is one of those “spreads” that you’ll be tempted to grab a spoon and eat straight from the jar. I made the first batch by the recipe. When I was shopping for ingredients for the second batch, the store I was in didn’t have papayas. I knew another store would almost surely have them but really wasn’t in the mood to make more stops, AND oh, look, peaches! There in front of me was a display of beautiful ripe peaches, and I thought of those rather bland papayas and these juicy, bright peaches; and before I knew it, I was loading up a couple of bags. This recipe just went from really good to amazingly awesome! I will substitute peaches for papaya every time!

The book is available on Amazon, its current price is $23.33, and it has my enthusiastic seal of approval!

 

 

 

Categories
In the News

Who Wants to Be Politically Correct?

If you haven’t heard or read the term “politically correct” lately, you have not turned on your TV, read the news online or in print, and certainly not followed this year’s election. And you just may be the most sane among us. As for the rest of us, I think it safe to speak for the majority, we’re up to our eyebrows with all the talk about political correctness, or as it’s commonly called, PC. If a political candidate can build an entire campaign on it, and if that campaign resonates with millions of voters, this PC stuff must be pretty darned powerful. But does anyone really know what the heck it is?

I did a little research and learned that “the term ‘politically correct’ was first coined in the late 1920s by the Soviets and their ideological allies around the world to describe why the views of certain of the party faithful needed correction to the party line” (Washington Post editorial, 11/15/2015).

I also learned that historians have written revisionist histories to impose current cultural standards on past events and cultures. That doesn’t sound like an honest or ethical thing to do.

Various online dictionaries offer these definitions:

the avoidance, often considered as taken to extremes, of forms of expression or action that are perceived to exclude, marginalize, or insult groups of people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against.

agreeing with the idea that people should be careful to not use language or behave in a way that could offend a particular group of people.

marked by or adhering to a typically progressive orthodoxy on issues involving especially ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation.

So far, I’ve learned that political correctness started as a way to be sure Soviet party members toed the party line, has been applied by some historians to make history more palatable to modern audiences, and has been adopted by others as a way of showing respect to people of all demographics. The term can also be used pejoratively. Our understanding of the term suffers not from a lack of definition but from a plethora of loosely related and sometimes contadictory definitions. And that is precisely where Jesse Walker begins in the excellent and informative article “What the Hell Does ‘Politically Correct’ Mean?: A Short History” (01/30/2015).  http://reason.com/blog/2015/01/30/what-the-hell-does-politically-correct-m

In his opening paragraph, Walker addresses the multitude of meanings which have been assigned to the term:

Amanda Taub’s Vox piece denying the existence of political correctness does get one thing right: The phrase political correctness “has no actual fixed or specific meaning.” What it does have, though Taub doesn’t explore this, is a history of meanings: a series of ways different people have deployed the term, often for radically different purposes.

Walker goes on to echo what we learned from the Washington Post editorial writer: the term first gained prominence in 1920s Soviet culture. He adds:

By then [mid-1980s] the term was fairly well-established on American campuses. When future Clinton speechwriter Jeff Shesol debuted his comic strip Thatch in Brown’s student newspaper in 1988, he included a faux superhero called Politically Correct Person, a character forever correcting people’s language and consumer choices.

Walker’s history continues:

The end of the 1990-91 academic year . . . happened to be the [time] the phrase had its national coming-out party. The December 24, 1990, Newsweek featured the words “THOUGHT POLICE” on its cover; inside, a Jerry Adler article argued that “where the PC reigns, one defies it at one’s peril.” A month later, John Taylor’s cover story “Are You Politically Correct?” appeared in New York magazine. The Wall Street Journal ran a series of pieces attacking political correctness. And around the same time that issue of P.C. Casualties appeared, President George Herbert Walker Bush warned the graduating class at Michigan that “the notion of political correctness” was replacing “old prejudices with new ones.”

Whew! Busy year!

Walker says, “’Politically correct’ had now entered the mainstream lexicon—and, maybe more important, the conservative lexicon. But what did people mean when they said it?” And we’re back to our starting question. Various understandings and use of the term include “anything left of center”; “what conservatives call political correctness is really ‘just politeness’”; it has been viewed by some as a myth; and definitions are subject to “the jargon of the week.”

With that as background, Clint Eastwood has provided an up-to-the-minute definition in an interview with Esquire Magazine, which is currently being reported in the Huffington Post: “If Trump Offends You, Just F**king Get Over It.” As you recall, this is the same man who talks to chairs. To the Esquire interviewer he said this:

You know, he’s [Trump’s] a racist now because he’s talked about this judge. And yeah, it’s a dumb thing to say. I mean, to predicate your opinion on the fact that the guy was born to Mexican parents or something. He’s said a lot of dumb things. So have all of them. Both sides. But everybody—the press and everybody’s going, ‘Oh, well, that’s racist,’ and they’re making a big hoodoo out of it. Just fucking get over it. It’s a sad time in history.

He continues:

(S)ecretly everybody’s getting tired of political correctness, kissing up. That’s the kiss-ass generation we’re in right now. We’re really in a pussy generation. Everybody’s walking on eggshells. We see people accusing people of being racist and all kinds of stuff. When I grew up, those things weren’t called racist.

Eastwood says he will vote for Trump, even though it’s a “tough one,” but has not yet endorsed him. However, Trump is not the point here. The point here is the power of political correctness overload to incite the kind of rebellion and political turmoil which has turned 2016 into a year to which history will certainly not be kind. And I think Mr. Eastwood’s comments get to the heart of that power; those who are the most angry and vocal about political correctness are those who see it as Eastwood does: “kissing up,” “kiss-ass,”  wimpy, “walking on eggshells,” and having every action interpreted as racist or some kind of phobic. He says, “When I grew up, those things weren’t called racist.”

And that’s the first point on which I agree with Mr. Eastwood. He and I grew up around the same time, and he is correct in saying those things were not considered racist; but I would argue that they damn well should have been considered racist. I recall people freely telling ethnic jokes; in fact, they were the most popular jokes during my childhood and young adulthood. There were “hillbilly” jokes, jokes about people of color, and in various geographic areas jokes about minority populations specific to that region. I spent the late 1960s in the Detroit area where there was a large Polish population, so there was a whole series of “Polock” jokes. Jeff Foxworthy, in the 1990s, introduced us to redneck jokes. And of course, jokes about women have transcended all decades and cultures.

An interesting observation about all of this ethnic “humor” is that most of the jokes were interchangeable, depending on which group the joker wanted to denigrate. Just substitute the name of your group into the opening line, and you had a ready-made joke for your next party. Whether the subject was “hillbillies,” rednecks, dark-skinned people, or Polish people, they were always portrayed as ignorant, uneducated, unsophisticated, backward, and socially inept. Throw women jokes into the mix, and it’s easy to pinpoint the yardstick by which everyone else was being measured (and falling short): the white male, of course.

Is THIS the America Clint Eastwood and the angry rally goers want to go back to? Is this what they think will make America great again? Are they just tired of having to be respectful and polite to people who are in some way or ways different from them? Do they just want us all to go back to being casually and openly racist, sexist, and in other ways prejudiced? Is it such a grievous burden to bear that we must use language which reflects love and respect for all of our fellow human beings? What a sad, sad commentary on our failure as a culture!

Do Mr. Eastwood and the rally goers want to go back to the America where the N word was spoken freely, where there were separate entrances, water fountains, and restrooms for whites and blacks? Would they like our dark-skinned friends to be banned from libraries and restaurants? Do they want to return their fellow humans to the back of the bus? Is that politically incorrect enough for them? Again, has it been such a grievous burden to bear to allow all citizens the same rights and privileges and to be spoken of with equal respect?

I have to go back to Eastwood’s statement, “But everybody—the press and everybody’s going, ‘Oh, well, that’s racist,’ and they’re making a big hoodoo out of it. Just fucking get over it.” I’m going to argue that racism IS “a big hoodoo.” It’s a VERY “big hoodoo.” And we don’t need to f**king get over it; we should have made a whole lot more progress than we’ve made toward eliminating it. It seems the last two and a half decades of having to watch their cultural language, including eight years of having a black man in the White House, has made some of our fellow citizens into little pressure cookers just waiting for someone to give them permission to blow their lids; and they have found that permission, and they’re exploding. This short video is absolutely terrifying. Note the dominance of white males.

http://www.nytimes.com/video/us/politics/100000004533191/unfiltered-voices-from-donald-trumps-crowds.html?smid=fb-share

I agree with the earlier statement that what these people call political correctness is really just politeness, so maybe it’s time to give it a different name, to remove the stigma left by the decades of baggage. Maybe we could call it love, courtesy, respect, human dignity, kindness, or godliness. Maybe then we could stop thinking of it as a burden and start seeing it as a privilege to share this beautiful planet with so many different kinds of people and to have our own lives enriched by what each one adds to our collective experience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Politics Religion

Evangelicals for Trump. Seriously???

Evangelicals find themselves facing a yuuuge moral dilemma this November. They can’t stomach the thought of voting for a Democrat, especially that woman. Yet their default candidate sends shivers up their spines every time he opens his mouth. Some are exploring third-party or write-in candidates, but others recognize the pitfalls of voting outside the two major parties, since so far no third-party candidate has ever won an election and there’s no way to be certain which major-party candidate will be more affected by third-party votes. What’s a god-fearing, self-respecting evangelical to do? For a number of them, the answer seems to be “rationalize.” Vote for someone who in every way violates your confession of faith, but construct arguments to make the wrong you’re about to do feel right.

Let’s face it: every honest person will have to admit to doing something in their life that has violated their own personal moral code. I admit I have. Sometimes the deed is the result of too much temptation and too little will power. Sometimes it’s a gross error in judgment. And sometimes we feel that we’re forced to choose the lesser of two evils, in which case we’re likely to be left feeling guilty no matter what we do because the lesser of two evils is still evil. Whatever the reason for our lapse, the resulting spiritual turmoil is painful.

So how does one make peace with one’s own conscience after having done something which has grossly offended the conscience? I would argue that the only honest way to proceed is to simply own the deed: admit it, accept your human weakness, seek forgiveness from anyone who has been hurt by your action, confess and seek forgiveness from God if that is part of your belief system, and then most important of all, forgive yourself. Then go on and live your life, believing you are still a good person, not damaged goods, who is still entitled to respect and is able to make sound moral judgments in the future.

I would also argue that the most dishonest and damaging way to make peace with a troubled conscience is to construct an argument that changes wrong to right. That approach leads one deeper into self-delusion and further from any connection to or understanding of truth. People who lie to themselves no longer see the dividing line between truth and falsehood. In Shakespeare’s play “Hamlet,” Polonius gives a long list of advice to his son Laertes, ending with the most important: “This above all: to thine own self be true,/And it must follow, as the night the day,/Thou canst not then be false to any man.” If Polonius is right, one who is honest with oneself can’t be dishonest with anyone else, isn’t it fair to say the opposite is also correct: One who is dishonest with oneself can’t possibly be honest with anyone else.

Evangelicals* (See note at end) have been doing battle with their consciences for over a year now, and that battle intensifies with every day we move closer to November 8. Some, as I mentioned before, are looking at third-party and write-in candidates; others are going to sit out this election (cowards); others are just going to swallow hard and vote for Trump because he’s the only Republican on the ballot. Then there are the most disturbing of all: the ones who are going down that dark, twisted trail of attempting to construct an argument that will morally justify their choice and quiet their consciences.

I mentioned one of those in a previous post: Wayne Grudem, whose article “Why Voting for Donald Trump Is a Morally Good Choice” is being read, parsed, and widely refuted. Wayne Grudem is an influential evangelical theologian, professor of Christian ethics, author, and study Bible editor. Professor Grudem rationalizes:

He [Trump] is egotistical, bombastic, and brash. He often lacks nuance in his statements. Sometimes he blurts out mistaken ideas (such as bombing the families of terrorists) that he later must abandon. He insults people. He can be vindictive when people attack him. He has been slow to disown and rebuke the wrongful words and actions of some angry fringe supporters. He has been married three times and claims to have been unfaithful in his marriages. These are certainly flaws, but I don’t think they are disqualifying flaws in this election.

I’m still choking on “lacks nuance” and “I don’t think they are disqualifying flaws.” But moving on, in another passage he says,

But are you saying that character doesn’t matter?” someone might ask. I believe that character does matter, but I think Trump’s character is far better than what is portrayed by much current political mud-slinging, and far better than his opponent’s character.

In addition, if someone makes doubts about character the only factor to consider, that is a fallacy in ethical reasoning that I call “reductionism” – the mistake of reducing every argument to only one factor, when the situation requires that multiple factors be considered. In this election, an even larger factor is the future of the nation that would flow from a Clinton or a Trump presidency.

I agree with Professor Grudem that single-issue voting is narrow and disqualifies otherwise good candidates for a single disagreement. However, character is an overriding factor which encompasses who a person is, to what extent the person can be trusted, and the moral compass by which the person lives. That’s NOT the same as voting only on a candidate’s stance on immigration, guns, or abortion. There is NO way Professor Grudem can honestly reconcile his own description of Trump with his own belief system.

Here’s an Evangelical Statement of Faith, taken from the National Association of Evangelicals, http://nae.net/statement-of-faith/. Of course, individual groups will add to or alter the list in accordance with their personal interpretations, but I think this list is a pretty basic general summary.

We believe the Bible to be the inspired, the only infallible, authoritative Word of God.

We believe that there is one God, eternally existent in three persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

We believe in the deity of our Lord Jesus Christ, in His virgin birth, in His sinless life, in His miracles, in His vicarious and atoning death through His shed blood, in His bodily resurrection, in His ascension to the right hand of the Father, and in His personal return in power and glory.

We believe that for the salvation of lost and sinful people, regeneration by the Holy Spirit is absolutely essential.

We believe in the present ministry of the Holy Spirit by whose indwelling the Christian is enabled to live a godly life.

We believe in the resurrection of both the saved and the lost; they that are saved unto the resurrection of life and they that are lost unto the resurrection of damnation.

We believe in the spiritual unity of believers in our Lord Jesus Christ.

I have no way of knowing what Donald Trump believes concerning the first three items on the list; of course I could comment, but I’ll resist. I’m most drawn to the fourth and fifth. Can anyone honestly argue that someone who attacks and vilifies women, immigrants, people with disabilities, people who were captured in war, Gold Star families, an opponent’s wife, an opponent’s father; who boots a mother with a crying baby from a rally; who has described his own daughter as “hot” and said he’d date her if she were not his daughter; who is being sued for child rape; who condones and incites violence; who proposes banning entire people groups from our country—that this person exudes the spirit of one who has been regenerated by the Holy Spirit or who is indwelt by the Holy Spirit or who is living a godly life? That’s too big a stretch for my imagination!

And how about the last item on the list: “the spiritual unity of believers in our Lord Jesus Christ.” Has Professor Grudem’s “flawed candidate” done a single thing to promote unity since he launched his campaign? Or has everything he has done promoted division and discord? Of course, Mr. Grudem would argue that Hillary Clinton is even more flawed in regard to Evangelical standards, but the title of his article is not “Why Voting for Donald Trump Is Better than Voting for Hillary Clinton.” It’s “Why Voting for Donald Trump Is a Morally Good Choice,” and I think that statement cannot be argued without compromising one’s evangelical beliefs.

http://townhall.com/columnists/waynegrudem/2016/07/28/why-voting-for-donald-trump-is-a-morally-good-choice-n2199564

Then as I was still reeling from Professor Grudem’s article, I came across another article this morning, this one written by an unnamed author, “To the ‘Never Trumper’—A Biblical Case for Trump.” The author introduces herself thus:

I fit the classic profile of a “Never Trumper.” I am a highly educated, staunchly theologically and politically conservative pastor’s wife, who plans to one day homeschool her children. I even want to be a “Never Trumper.” I really do. It sounds so principled, so brave, to be a political nonconformist who refuses to buckle under the weight of societal temptation, or fall under the spell of the big mouthed billionaire with his lofty promises for a better future. I CANNOT, however, allow myself [to] ignore the principles laid out in the Word of God for situations such as the political debacle Americans have unfortunately found themselves in.

Her tone throughout the article is confrontational, her logic is confusing at best, and the accusations she freely hurls at Mrs. Clinton are unsupported. As the title suggests, her target audience is voters in the “Never Trump” movement, which means she’s speaking to Republicans who don’t like Donald Trump. Unlike Wayne Grudem (whose article she references at the end of her own), this writer does not deny any of the negative charges against Trump; in fact, the above quotation suggests that she agrees with those charges, as does this one:

I would first ask you to remember that we are NOT electing Trump to a sacred or ecclesiastical office. We are electing him to a political office. If this was a question of placing Trump in charge of my church or Christian organization, you would have to hogtie and hold me down in order to get me to vote for him. I am not arguing for Trump’s morality here.

I am simply stating that in this specific office, as President, he has gone to great lengths to demonstrate that he will protect and champion the rights of the American evangelical if he were to be elected, even if he does not personally embrace those values. . . . He has even organized a “faith advisory committee” comprised of some of the most respected Christian leaders in America.

Note that she has omitted how Mr. Trump will “protect and champion the rights of the American evangelical.” Could it be because he has never told us how he intends to carry out any of his “plans”?

Going on to address the “lesser of two evils” that we’ve heard so much about, she says:

The difference is that one “evil” has promised to do his best to protect your right to worship freely, and one has promised to do everything within her power to suppress them. You may argue that Trump will turn tail and act against Christians once elected. You are absolutely right. He could. We can be CERTAIN, however, that Hillary will do her best to destroy what little sense of decency we have left.

Am I the only one who missed the parts of Mrs. Clinton’s campaign speeches where she says she plans to suppress our right to worship freely and to destroy our sense of decency? And I’m curious what “them” is in line 3, that says Mrs. Clinton has promised to “suppress them.”

There’s more:

Never Trumper…get over yourself. This isn’t about your personal likes or dislikes. This is about the future of your children. If you aren’t willing to overcome your personal chagrin that an outsider could come in and do your job for you, then you have no one to blame but yourself when Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton is elected.

Following that statement is a list of things which Never Trumpers will have lost the right to complain about if Mrs. Clinton is elected: the right to act as a martyr when she comes after your right to speak freely about issues such as homosexuality and the exclusivity of the Gospel; third-trimester abortions; future liberal supreme court rulings; your pastor being imprisoned for hate speech crimes; losing your right to bear arms and having to fret about the safety of your family.

I admit I am disturbed by third-trimester abortions, but I guess I fell asleep during the time Mrs. Clinton was talking about destroying our sense of decency, imprisoning our pastors, and taking away everyone’s guns.

And finally, here’s the wrap-up:

I am not arguing that Trump is a great man.

I am not even arguing that Trump is a good man.

I am arguing that in the words of Christ Himself, God can use an individual that is “not one of us” to further His purposes and protect His people.

I am arguing that in this time, and in this particular circumstance as the only nominee for Republican Party, Trump is the RIGHT man to serve as President of the United States.

So it seems this author is admitting that Donald Trump is all of the awful things we know he is but believes Jesus can use him anyhow to protect and defend us. I’d like to know a little more about how anyone can know that Jesus is behind a political candidate, but I guess I’ll have to wait for her sequel.

Her “argument” is, of course, sprinkled liberally with cherry-picked Bible verses because no self-respecting evangelical would dare debate those. If you want to “prove” something, just pick a verse–any verse.

https://lastchanceamerica.wordpress.com/2016/07/27/to-the-never-trumper-a-biblical-case-for-trump/

So far, the only “moral” arguments that have been advanced in favor of electing Donald Trump as president are based solely on the facts that he’s not Hillary Clinton and he’s not a Democrat. I saw a comment on social media this week calling the Democratic Party the “Party of Satan.” And most evangelicals I know, even if they don’t use such strong language, seem to agree with that statement at least in sentiment. It goes without saying that the standard bearer of the Party of Satan must then be Satan herself, which also seems to be a widely shared sentiment among evangelicals. That neither of those judgments can be substantively supported has not deterred any of those who continue to piously proclaim them.

Okay, I get it. You will never vote for a Democrat, especially not that Democrat. If the Republican Party nominates a hamster, you will swallow hard and vote for the hamster because it’s a Republican. Whatever! But can we at least be honest? Do whatever you have to do to be at peace with your conscience. Vote for the person who in no way represents your moral code if you feel you must. But puh-leeze spare the rest of us the ridiculous mental gymnastics of trying to convince yourself that what you’re doing is in harmony with your stated beliefs. It’s not.

 

*Note: I belong to the Christian faith, but I am not an evangelical. I am a mainstream Protestant.